Life has unapologetically thrown us some gut-wrenching curve balls recently, so it felt like an apropos time to share some good news. Julie and I are over-the-moon to announce that we will be expecting a baby this August!
That means our life and in turn the SheShe Life blog will have a new and renewed purpose. Yes, we will still be traveling, hustling, and experiencing all the sheshe things in life, but we will be doing so with a growing belly and soon, a little nugget in tow!
We started this journey back in 2015 when we hurtled headfirst into the wonderful world of trying to become parents as a same sex couple. Since then we have learned more than we thought there was to know about acronyms like HCG, IUI and IVF, navigating insurance claims, sperm donors, fertility injections and now thankfully, tracking the weekly advancements of our growing baby to be (today at 18 weeks he/she is the size of an artichoke, eek!) Side note: No, we are opting not to find out gender because it’s a baby and that’s pretty much amazing either way!
When we’ve shared our baby-to-be news with close family and friends, squeals and hugs were often followed by a barrage of questions, many of them framed with a disclaimer like “I know this is probably completely inappropriate to ask, but…” That said, Julie and I have been an open book throughout the process and are more than happy to share details whether you are just curious, or another LGBT couple trying to get from here to baby.
#1. Most asked question: “So, how did you do it?”
We tried 4 unsuccessful IUIs (In Uterine Inseminations) at Northwestern Fertility Center with donor sperm in June, July, August and September of last year. Then in late November we were blessed with a successful pregnancy thanks to the modern medical process that is IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).
#2 Most asked question “So how’d you pick the sperm donor?”
This day in age, picking sperm is essentially like finding a date on match.com, with slightly larger implications. Choosing your sperm bank is your first big decision and we opted for Fairfax Cryobank which has a focus on medical transparency even as you initially screen donors. Thankfully like most sperm banks today, it was also very LGBT friendly and offered many helpful resources and articles as we navigated these new waters.
Also it was important for us to choose anonymous sperm, meaning the two parents that raise our baby (that’s us!) will be the only parents he/she will ever know. Early on in the process a psychologist we were required to meet with smartly told us to think of it as a tissue donor, like someone who donated a kidney or liver, and that’s all.
So that’s our big news for 2017! Check back in for fun updates on babymoons, gender-neutral nursery planning, and other decisions and to-dos all new parents face. These parents just happen to be two ass-kicking, wanderlust-loving career women who can’t wait to begin this journey together. And of course, share it with you!